Long hiatus.... Often wondered why I stop writing for more than a month and its not like me to keep quiet. There's always much to say, but perhaps not enough to share. Yet i recall, it has not been my nature to seek an approval on what is worthy to be read.
Let that be the final lesson of 2011 and the first lesson of 2012 for me.
Round about this time last year, i wrote of Steve Jobs and his challenges. Within the year Mr Jobs is no longer with us. Pancreatic cancer....its a real bitch of a disease to have. Most people don't know they have it till its too late and don't live long enough to enjoy the remaining years versus the remorse and pity hours they spent on themselves. Mr Jobs had a long duration before his inevitable demise, yet with him he fought till the end.
As I reflect upon his death and how the world mourn at the loss of a great mind, a revolutionary person who change the world. Many say we will never find his parellel. Not many of his generation has surpassed what he has achieved. Its not difficult to agree, and not difficult to disagree.
Every death of a star, means a new rising star will be born.
While the far reaching rays of Steve Jobs begin to fade into legendary memory, so should the world require the light from another star to feed upon. We're just waiting for it to go viral and cult-like.
Which brings to the next point....resolutions.
I hated resolutions or the coming of each new year. My dad would always ask the same thing each year come 31st December or the afternoon of 1st Jan (in case i managed to slip out on the eve) and its always "boy....what's your resolution for the year?"
Each year i made repeated ones that don't make sense and would lie to get over with it. I suspect my dad knew of my non intention to participate but let me off easy because i answered something as opposed to nothing.
Today I ask people I meet (because its an ice breaker) and most adults answer that they don't believe in resolutions. To them its like rules that were meant to be broken. So if you are going to break it, then why make it? If you know deep inside you can't achieve it, why make a farce and lie only to renew the vows the following year of things not achieved for the previous year?
I likened this process as "if you know you're gonna die in the end, then why bother living?"
however, i do admit, that i too did not differ much from the response of people I interviewed. I had the same view of why make promises that I cannot keep? I believed that a serendipitous and happy go lucky attitude would be able to lead me, as long as i have the courage to move in that direction. After all, doesn't luck favour the brave? Seems to work well in movies and tv.
"I want to go somewhere, i don't know where, as long as it's anywhere but HERE"
Serendipity. Happy go lucky. Let fate decide. These are descriptions of a journey, not a destination. For many years, i took it as a destination and realised that I have gone EVERYWHERE but I' still HERE. Because we start from where we were comfortable but irritable, and we journey back to the place we last felt comfortable.
So while i will serendipitously return back to my comfort zone, there are places that I want to go and things I need to achieve. So here are my resolutions for 2012 no matter how small it is.
1. I will run a mini marathon of 10km by mid year
2. I will attempt (but may not finish) a half marathon of 22km before the year ends
3. I will not allow myself to bloat beyond 72kg
4. I will start my MBA in health administration by April, and complete by 18 months
5. I will read a book a month at least
5 is enough. Beyond that i'd just be fooling myself. Doubt i have the time for a 6th decisive resolution. But then again, i'll need some other for next year I reckon.
Thank you all for a wonderful 2011.
For the times I don't say enough, thank you dad for everything. For the lessons you taught when you were around but I didn't seem to learn. And for the lessons I learnt in your absence but through my reflections. You have been my secret idol that I don't glorify but have come to realise. Love ya.
(ps... No no no....fatherhood didn't teach me that....)
Dear Aly,
ReplyDeleteI somehow regularly read or viewed your Facebook entries but missed check it out your blogg. Your articles are interesting and very well presented and make enjoyable reading. Keeping posting and perhaps one day - you can have a "Selected Essay of Ezra's dad".
Steve Job - I managed to read 3 Chapters of his Biography at Uncle Dan's place recently and was amazed at his independent and unconventional childhood, teen life and youth... while his parents strive to provide him a normal and educated upbringing. We did open the windows and doors for you to be independent and unconventional too. Good things you did - fortunately with lesser shock and difficulty for your parents.
You were in two different scout troops (multi-tasking is pretty norm to you now), building computers at the library instead of attending classes, smashed the sporty Astina and had it towed all the way from historical town of Malacca... and many others. I was not perturbed, how could I went it was I who reminded you - not to have an "A" for Conduct in your report card. We are happy that you did not take pot, drop out from college, hippy your way to Ganges but did what you did...
At 60, I still set my new year Resolutions, and infact I had since gone a bit further - I do have a daily/weekly/monthly To-do list, checking out the more Urgent & Important items first on a regular basis, and I found it to be a great stress reliever.
Your 5 resolutions are great. I like them. Running a marathon was one of my dream however I managed to do a half marathon once. We did swim to Indonesia and back - 94 km - 26 hrs - once too.
During the last SCI Winter Workcamps - I did share with the high school participants - many of the Interesting Practices recommended by Gurus and which we had selectively adopted. And tried to make it fun by embracing the 3 S there - surprises, spontaneity, and serendipity
As you remember me - I do remember my dad - and he was known for his patience, kindness, integrity, honesty, caring, loyalty and passion for his job job as a lorry attendant. It may be a low paying job, but he was held with high respect... even till today for those who knows him and still alife.
May we wish you good health, joy in whatever you are doing... at work, with your community and especially with your family - Rey, Ezra and hopefully ... more to come.
That's that.