Unwanted Pursuit

Not knowing what we want; But knowing what we don't want....

Amazing how our past experiences may instill such certainty that we are able to define our specific "don't wants". It enables us to live our life avoiding those very specifics that we resent or are uncomfortable to face. And just as how our list of resentments grow, so does the list of "don't wants".

Ironically while the past defines our certainty to "don't wants", the uncertainty of future retards our pursuit of "wants". We fear the attainable may be unreachable and void ourselves from the desire of even reaching out for it. In short we borrow from our tomorrow to purge or pay off our debts and sins of yesterday. While living in the current moment, making ourselves believe that we have reach an equilibrium between the two.

I was once thrown into the self imposed rat race of unwanted pursuit. Running away from the very things that I dislike, while not knowing where I want to be or to where i am heading to. It's tiring.......

And I don't want to be tired no more.....

fear

Faltering Emotions, Actions & Reactions.... F.E.A.R.

How well do we really know ourselves?

While we fear what we don't understand, do we really understand what we fear??

Fear is a collective description, that while we would like to be rid of it, it is ironically an integral part of our lives that we also cannot do without. The more we fear fear itself, unknowingly we embrace it more....

While we may fear for different reasons in our course of life, be it at work, commitments, or even death itself, most times our stronghold falters and the notion of it causing us to make a decision however rash will cause this wave of uncertainty that we perceive as fear.....

I have read that peace with the world comes from peace from within. In my case, I found this true to the context of fear and its management. While we try hard to take control of people and situation to best fit our liking, perhaps we should take control of ourselves and know ourselves better. It is not the obvious traits that defines how we handle fear, but the traits that we kept under lock and key, the skeletons in our closets, our dark side that we have kept locked away from society and sometimes ourselves that we have to recognize, embrace and harness its potentials.

Fear not the dark, for when it is darkest that we truly appreciate the faintest streak of light.

Making Cents of YES mobile

Finally an anticipated wait comes to an end this weekend... The premier of Harry Potter's part 1 of its final installment and also the launch og YTL's 4G mobile Internet service....

Well of course I'm much more interested in the latter..... Sue me....I've only seen the 2nd Harry Potter movie....no point going Gaga with the rest of the worked yet when I've not seen the rest of it...

So there I was, with no excuse to be there to make it a coincidence but with the specific mind of checking out new tech stuff...

The speed and service was mind blowing for a wireless carrier. An independent mobile modem capable of serving up to 4 wifi users while streaming off the 4G network was capable to achieve a download speed of 7.4Mbps on a iPhone!!! That's bearing in mind that there were 3 other users using it simultaneously.... A test of random video in YouTube achieved to fully download a 3 minute clip within 15 seconds...... That really puts my previous home landline broadband to shame....

Yet...one must bear in mind that this is the launch and it would do them no good to have crappy demo service on the launch week....so much more will be there to disappoint people once their subscription grows beyond their service capability. Time will show and tell.

In the mean time, some pretty cool news. The service is essentially a 4G Internet service. It also provides voice and SMS service. Rates are competitively priced at 9 cents for a minute of call to anyone and also 9 cents per SMS. Internet service goes by 3 cents for every MB of data. At present it runs only as a prepaid service with no expiry of credit time. Only catch is that it charges a minimum reload of 30 ringgit per month.

While calculating 3 cents per MB seems weird when people are already offering packages of 3GB or unlimited Internet service out there, I do recall telcos that still charge by blocks of 1kB or 10kB....sheeeshhh....

So when I calculate my usage, my mobile Internet is charged at 90 ringgit for a 3GB account. In all honesty, I have tried my best to use it maximally before without doing massive downloads....just sensible day to day use, and the 3GB has never been achieved. My max was about 2GB. So... For mobile users like me, it may make more sense to use a prepaid service thatncharges only for what I use. At 3 cents a MB, it would be the same as my current package....shhh but there's a bonus in place for Yes Mobile. With increasing use of it'd mobile service, the cheaper the charges get. So by the time one hits the 3GB mark, the charge would be somewhere in the range 2.3 cents per MB, giving it a nice price of 69 ringgit (more or less)

Next.... While most telcos run into network congestion because they run voice and data service within their network, YES mobile only runs on data service. From what I was told, the voice and SMS services are likened to what we would get by using Skype. Voice are actually VoIP (voice over IP). So as long as we have a YES mobile ID or number, we would be able to make calls and receive calls as a normal phone would. Kinda like using the Skype phone (premium service). Hence there is no need for a simcard, which is a selling point with YES mobile.

Calling overseas would be charged as IDD rates. Roaming? No roaming charges are applied. But if for example a user is in Singapore, all calls will be charged as IDD charges. This is until YES mobile breaks into any of the other countries. Then it will be charged according to the local charges. With YTL as it's main backer, it will be inteesting to see where this will lead to.

Anyway, will write more next time once I am able to go on 4G while watching YouTube stream live onto my device as I cruise on the NSE (north south expressway).

Until then....signing off from my maxis mobile....(when is that page ever gonna finish loading!!! Arghhhh!)

Incomplete

How do I awake from a dream, when I don't remember falling asleep?
How do I seem to know you, when we have never meet?
Our lives are in motion, yet so still our emotions remain
And when everything seems real, from this dream I awake again.

I'm lost in translation, to a destination unknown
I pass scores of familiar faces, but i'm most comfortable alone
Solidarity is a friend whom I've learn to need
Yet when it lingers with me, I am still incomplete

I gloom at the thought of ever being whole
I abhor the sunshine, I adore the cold
My darkness prevails though everything else seems bright
Just as the day will pass, and I give in to the night

Yet in the darkest of nights, the slightest glow will seem bright
In my life filled with wrongs, you are the only thing that's right
In my limbo of dreams, you appear in repeats
Without you, my life and dreams will remain incomplete.

Dedicated to Maria & Azmir. Love you guys...
Hope your love is as strong or stronger than what I write but less depressing....
;)

4 of the same

It's amazing how a plastic contraption taught me that at a given moment there are more perspectives than just ours to consider.....

Even our eyes, when viewing a same object with either eye closed would change our perspective.

Need for Speed

Friday was an awesome day. Not only was it Deepavali, a festival of lights celebrated by the Indian community throughout the world, but it was Race Day number 2 for the ENT department.....This time around we had twice the participants and we gathered at Shah Alam's City Karting circuit for our event.

While the weather has been someone erratic since the preview of 2012 (aka The Apocalypse) with Tsunami off the coast of Indonesia, Mt Merapi exploding away in Yogyokarta, Twisters in Perlis, Floods in Kedah.......we harboured a slim hope of good weather for race day..... Bearing in my mind that Murphy has a funny law not to be reckoned with, I decided against washing my car before the race. (Please tell me I'm not the only fella who seems to invite rain after washing the car. No wash, no rain!)

Anyway good thing for not washing the car, and I guess lady luck smiled kindly upon us too. The weather was glorious. It was clear with a slight overcast and temperature of 32 degrees Celcius on the track by the time we started at 9am. Just enough to get the track heated up and the tires primed for the race.

Karts are 80cc 2 stroke engines. Lighter and more torque as compared to the ones in Sepang Go Kart which uses the 4 stroke engines. The track per se is easy to learn and with the 80cc Karts, one doesn't really need to apply the brakes, just release of the accelerator and re-accelerate is sufficient to hug must corners. Downside is the Karts are not well maintained.....Disparity between Karts are high enough to cause obvious differences in terms of power and performance. As an example, the fastest Kart can have almost a 5 second advantage per lap from 85% of the other Karts, which means in a race where each lap averages between 1 min 15s to 1 min 20s, by 13th or 14th lap the first Kart would have lap others.....Almost like pitting a Ferrari against Team Proton (should we have enough clout or have thick enough skin to form one someday).

Overall it was still an amazing race. 12 minutes of practice. 12 minutes of qualifying for fastest lap (transponder on the Karts made it possible to be electronically timed....WHOA!!). And finally 15 laps of race. On average each lap was between 1 min 15s to 1 min 30s....which means most of us made 7 to 8 laps for the first 2 heats. While 15 laps translated to about 25 to 30 minutes of race in total.

Karts stacked in storage

Pre-race inspection

And like most race, we were not spared with the typical trials and scandals of the track....

Pre-race speculation

Spin outs

Accidents..... Ralph Schumacher style of flying cars

They say you can lead a man out from the primitive, but you cannot remove the primitive out from a man....

When pitted against competition, stress, expectations to perform, and pride/ego....men all throw down their armour and do their worse or best..... but regardless of the above..... the most important thing was everyone had fun and hopefully we will have Race Day 3 in the near future.....

Taking formation behind safety car before start

Flagged off for the rolling start

Zoomm zoom

Checkered flag up

Podium finishers

Anyway.....for those who want to practice and for those who want to sharpen their senses without having to fork out money for these sessions, there is an easier way.... Click on the link below

Online Go Kart training

Rough Shoe-Marker

My first experience with a so called Go Kart was back in Genting Highlands Theme Park. It was like a standard issue Kart but with an engine of a lawn-mower. Really, that Kart would have made Adam Sandler in Waterboy look like race track hero! To top it off not all Karts were made the same. If you're lucky you're a big sized guy in a good Kart and can manage to cover a few laps before the 5 minute driving time is up.....

If you're unlucky, you're a skinny fella in one of those Karts that fatboy managed to lap you TWICE!!

Suffice to say it was a looonnnnggg time before the interest of Go Karting resurfaced. In between it was hampered by the high cost of such a sport/hobby. Not to say it is cheap now, but it is more erm....affordable.

One fine day, I met a Mr Bob, who happened to cross path with me during the course of my work. Turns out, Bob here managed a Go kart circuit in Sepang. Bla bla bla......empty promises of going for a trial by me.... Bla bla bla......more enticement by Bob each time we meet........Finally about 2 weeks ago, everything materialised. The time and place was set and the inaugural department challenge began.

I guess the enthusiasm really caught on.....I mean....WHO IN THE WORLD would come to work wearing racing shoes instead of the usual leather work shoes???? And to top it off....RED!!!! Come on....it was like a sore-thumb sticking out, but heck.....I wouldn't have traded that sight for anything....... haha.

Fur-RAR-ee shuz..... but to work???!! WTF!

After work, we made our way to the race track. A good 45 minute drive (it would have been just 30 mins if we left on time and didn't get caught in the rush hour traffic).

Location: Sepang International Go Kart Circuit, which is the baby neighbour to the world renowned Sepang International Circuit for F1 races.

While the illustrated overview of the track has been labelled by default at clock-wise, in actual race they made us go anti-clockwise. So much for trying to be smart to memorise all the corners. Didn't really pay to study the track before hand, haha..... Some elements of "kiasu-ism" started to kick in a day before the race.

Long story short, RM 120 bought us the track and Kart rental for an hour, which included 10 mins of practice and 2 rounds of 10 lap races. The summary is as below
- Race track - EXCELLENT, although a timing board would have made it better
- Toilets - Need work....I thought it was haunted....
- Karts - No complaint. Big size guy needs to lose weight, don't have to push the cart.
- Watching friend do a Ralph Schumacher spin out - CLASSIC!
- Friend did an Alex Yoong and came in 4th but 1 lap short - PRICELESS
- Me finishing 1st on both races - EPIC! (Sorry guys....bragging rights to the winner till the rematch)

Special gear to marinate your head in sweat

Calm before the storm

Some people win, some people lose a tyre