Unwanted Pursuit

Not knowing what we want; But knowing what we don't want....

Amazing how our past experiences may instill such certainty that we are able to define our specific "don't wants". It enables us to live our life avoiding those very specifics that we resent or are uncomfortable to face. And just as how our list of resentments grow, so does the list of "don't wants".

Ironically while the past defines our certainty to "don't wants", the uncertainty of future retards our pursuit of "wants". We fear the attainable may be unreachable and void ourselves from the desire of even reaching out for it. In short we borrow from our tomorrow to purge or pay off our debts and sins of yesterday. While living in the current moment, making ourselves believe that we have reach an equilibrium between the two.

I was once thrown into the self imposed rat race of unwanted pursuit. Running away from the very things that I dislike, while not knowing where I want to be or to where i am heading to. It's tiring.......

And I don't want to be tired no more.....